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Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage,
I notice that there is mail on the hall table.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail
in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash
can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and
take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when
I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only
one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my
desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the
Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put
it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers
on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading
glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going
to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with
water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the
kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking
for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen
table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on
the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't
paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the
flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my
checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm
really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm
really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some
help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone
you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you already, your day is coming, post hast!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF CONSTANTLY IS THERAPEUTIC!
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